Ogre Boss
Ogre Boss is a 46,000-word comic novel about Val, a young man born into a Zooma distribution center who grows up with an unwelcome desire to fix things. Approached by a recruiter from Basement, a secret agency with an ancient directive, Val joins the effort to save the world from an infiltration of ogremen, handsome giants in velour tracksuits who smell like baked goods, smash things, and, now and then, eat people.
Chapter 1
Tab was a hard man with a soft face. Those who knew him took him seriously. Those who did not know him took him for a coward.
Tab noticed that one of the sweep arms on the routing machine in Zooma distribution center IL-47 was loose. Tab knew what he should do, and he knew he shouldn’t do it.
Tab had arrived at the station thirty-six minutes earlier. It was his first day at routing station 12B. Tab knew the damage that a loose sweep arm could do. It could damage the packages of consumer products being routed by its arm. It could damage the other sweep arms. And it could fly off its joint and injure a worker.
Tab had lost a friend to an injury from faulty equipment at his previous workplace, Zooma distribution center IL-46.
Tab approached the stairs that led to the office of the station manager. A metal sign read:
You are not in the right place.
Lou held Tab at the upper arm to stop him from going up the stairs.
“You are not in the right place,” said Lou, scowling into Tab’s soft face.
Lou was Tab’s orientation leader. They’d met thirty-six minutes ago.
Tab took hold of Lou’s wrist and twisted.
Lou took Tab more seriously.
“A sweep arm is loose,” said Tab, patting Lou on the back. “It will damage packages if it is not fixed.”
Lou nodded and watched Tab climb the stairs to the office of the station manager.
Tab reached the office door at the top of the metal staircase. He knew he was expected to knock, and he knew he wouldn’t knock, because if he did, he would be sent away. So he put his big hand on the knob and turned the knob until its lock crumbled. He stepped into the office of Reviant Xi, the station manager.
Reviant Xi was a thin man with a swollen belly. Those who didn’t know him took him for a weakling. Those who knew him avoided him.
“Not in right place!” barked Reviant Xi.
“There is a loose sweep arm,” said Tab.
“Sweep arms tight!” barked Reviant Xi.
“The loose arm will damage packages if it is not fixed.”
“My station best quality!”
“Products inside the packages will be damaged,” said Tab. “Consumers will complain.”
“No complaints! Reviant Xi the best!”
“Zooma will find out about the loose sweep arm,” said Tab. “They will know that station 12B is bad.”
Reviant Xi scowled at Tab, taking him for a soft man. Reviant Xi spoke instructions into his communicator. When he was done, he spoke to Tab.
“You in wrong place,” cooed Reviant Xi, rubbing his belly. “IL-48 right place for you.”
Chapter 2
Tab was only twenty-six years old. He had been shuttled off to so many workplaces that he’d lost count. Here he was at IL-48, starting over at a new station, station 7D.
His new orientation leader thought Tab was a soft man and couldn’t bear to look at him. He waved him away and sent him to lunch.
Tab sat at the long and winding table, along with a hundred other workers. Meal trays traveled on the conveyor belt moving along the spine of the long and winding table. Tab had yet to select a meal.
Suzy wanted to sit beside the handsome young man at the lunch table. She’d noticed him right away. She hadn’t seen him before today. He was new, and she wanted to meet him before any other woman met him. Blocking her way was the station manager.
Melvicant Lo was a hulking man with a pinched head. “Sexy Suzy,” hissed Melvicant. He swiveled his hips. “Sexy lady to me veeery much.”
“Thank you, Mr. Station Manager,” said Suzy, bowing, as she did every day at lunch when Melvicant Lo blocked her way.
Suzy darted around his hulking body.
“One day sexy lady for me, Miss Suzy!” called Melvicant Lo.
“Is this seat taken?”
Tab had turned away from the meals on the conveyor belt to watch the interaction between Suzy and Melvicant Lo. Tab had formed opinions about both of them.
“If you want it,” said Tab, “it’s yours.”
Suzy smiled in relief. She sat and said immediately, before any other woman could speak to him, “You have a kind face.”
“People say it’s soft.”
“People say too many things,” she said. “They’re always wrong.”
“They don’t say what’s real.”
“Never!” She covered her mouth. “Sorry.” She smiled and watched the meals go by.
They chose different meals but for the same reasons. Tab had grown up eating many styles of cuisine. His mother had been a cook. So Tab made the same choice every day: he chose the meal that was the healthiest, the meal his mother would have chosen. Suzy had grown up eating the same style of cuisine every day. Her father had been no-nonsense, and her mother had been too shy to challenge him. So Suzy made the same choice every day: she chose the meal that she’d never had, the meal her mother would’ve chosen, if she could have.
They ate in silence. They found ways to touch each other: brushing fingers, bumping shoulders, and pressing the sides of their boots together. They lost their appetite for food. They ate slowly. Workers left. Tab and Suzy were the last two sitting at the table. Dirty trays jostled past them on the conveyor.
A buzzer signaled the end of lunch time, and a message appeared on the digital boards.
Work hard for lots of money.
A lunch monitor shouted at them. “You are in the wrong place!”
Tab and Suzy walked together out of the cafeteria. Tab worked in 7D. Suzy worked in 7G.
Before they parted, Tab caressed Suzy’s hand. “You and I,” said Tab.
“Yes?” Suzy squeezed his hand.
“We are in the right place.”
Chapter 3
There was a marriage contract workers signed, but there were no weddings or other public rituals permitted to celebrate the bond.
Tab and Suzy marked the occasion in the apartment allotted to them as a couple, an apartment halfway between 7D and 7G, three stories above the floor where the routing machines operated.
They marked the occasion with a Sunday potluck dinner attended by two other couples, their neighbors on either side.
At his station, Tab noticed many instances of faulty equipment. He knew he should say something, but he knew he wouldn’t. He did not want to give Melvicant Lo, the manager for stations 7A through 7H, an excuse to send him to another distribution center.
Married couples were not to be separated, but neither Tab nor Suzy trusted Melvicant Lo to adhere to protocol, even when that protocol was enshrined in the pages of God Rules.
Melvicant Lo continued to block Suzy’s way in the cafeteria and to say to her, “Sexy Suzy! Too bad, too bad. Tab lucky, lucky man. Toooooo lucky.”
Suzy, pregnant at twenty-three years old, could not dart past his hulking body. Melvicant Lo held her elbow and guided her to the lunch table where he winked at Tab, who was waiting for her.
“Too soft to be so lucky,” sneered Melvicant Lo.
Tab was a hard man, and he knew what he wanted to do. And he knew he wouldn’t do it.
“It’s okay,” said Suzy. She saw in her husband’s eyes what he wanted to do. “Look at me,” she said to Tab. “I’m here.”
Tab kissed her cheek and rubbed her lower back. They chose their meals without thinking and ate quickly in silence.
Chapter 4
Their son, Val, was born healthy but smaller than average. Tab and Suzy were allowed six months to nurture him. A six-month nurturing period had been found to be necessary for the development of a worker.
Tab returned to work after six months. Suzy, according to the protocol in God Rules, remained in the apartment to raise their child for another four and a half years.
At the age of five, Val entered the educational program. Until Val turned sixteen, he would follow the program with the other children in sections 6 through 10 of Zooma distribution center IL-48.
There were stages of education for each level. Students could progress at the pace at which they were able to complete the exams. If they could not pass the exam, they repeated the stages they had failed. If they passed the exam, they continued to the next level. If they progressed quickly, with time to spare in their academic year, they were assigned age-appropriate chores, such as picking up debris, wiping surfaces, and sweeping floors, in the distribution center.
Students read God Rules, an abridged and easy-to-read bible, with lists of rules, charts of rewards, and illustrations of punishments.
Students read The Only History of the United States, a compendium of the country’s highlights accompanied by inspiring videos.
Students read Work Hard for Lots of Money, a manual with just enough scientific and factual information to enable a student to appreciate the jobs available to them in the seven sectors of employment: Zooma, Gopple, Bank, Hospicore, The Copgunate, Screenz, and Government.
Zooma produced and distributed consumer goods.
Gopple developed and maintained computer technology.
Bank controlled money and finance.
Hospicore provided healthcare, drugs, and insurance.
The Copgunate managed and deployed the police and paramilitary groups, including Fire, Water, Rescue, Border, and Civil Peace Troops.
Screenz developed and provided entertainment.
Government was the government of the United States of America, which, a hundred years ago, used to be the Reunited States of America and before that the United States of America and before that a land without a name but was now, again, back to being the United States of America.
There were other sectors, but employment in those sectors was not available to workers at the social rank of Val and his peers. In fact, few of those in Val’s rank would find employment in Gopple, Bank, Screenz, or Government. Most would work in Zooma, Hospicore, and The Copgunate.
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